Tomorrow is it.
5 12 2013
The above image is how his leg looked a few weeks ago. Today I looked at it and its not even a leg anymore. It looks like a zombie ate it O_O I almost wish it was back to the picture, back when maybe his leg had a chance. I feel like I have been pushed around and pulled all over when all I have ever wanted is to give Salem a good home and to make him as well as I can possibly get him. He’s been my little buddy for 6 years now. We do everything together, my homework, my crafting, watching the twilight zone (netflix YEAH!), playing with his string (that he ripped out of my hoodie…) everything. We’ve been like that since the beginning. If I went away on a trip he would wait and wait. He would come running when I would get home, even if I just left for work. Even with his leg the way it is, he still waits.
Now I will wait for him. I have to say yesterday’s anxiety was NOTHING compared to now LOL Ive cried a little, ranted and vented a little, and just sat here praying a little as well. I am so glad I found this group and that those of you who have commented have found me as well. Its incredibly comforting to know you guys are there.
When I post tomorrow I hope to post that he did great and hes going to be ok! Apart of me is still worried he wont make it home though. Prayers abound!
<3 Kendi and Salem
Poor baby – we will be thinking the most pawsitive thoughts and sending them your way. Keep us updated.
Luanne and Spirit Shooter
You two are the best team!! Your dedication to eachother is heartwarming.
You are doing what has to be done. The leg has to go…there’s no other choice.
The vet has done all the preliminary tests and feel Salem will do fine…remember that.
We are sending you positive energy and look forward to a good update tomorrow.
Take care…..we are all here with you!
Sally and Happy Hannah
Salem and Kendi – Reading your blogs reminds me so much of exactly how I was feeling with Fang at this time. In fact in my first blogs you can read the argument that was going on in my head. I wish I could find your post where you explained exactly what is going on with Salem (I am sure its in the forums somewhere) but from what I gather there are definitely some similarities between he and Fang.
So, anxiety right now is incredibly normal. You feel like you are doing something mean to your furbaby, but you also feel like you don’t have a choice (because you feel like your only choices are “mean” ones – letting him live with this pain, taking off his leg, or taking his life). Well, this is what I came to realize with Fang after talking to many tripod kitty mommas: When a cat is hurt out in the world, they don’t opt to lay down and die – they come home and do their best with their wounds. I’ve listened to stories about cat’s who got their legs caught in raccoon traps, cats who were hit by cars – they came home, even if it meant dragging themselves there. If Salem could talk to you, he would choose life. That’s just a fact. And what you’re doing isn’t “mean” – it’s giving him the opportunity to live that he could not give himself.
Secondly, I’m not sure if this is the case, but you might be worried about Salem’s age and dealing with amputation. Just so you know, Fang was 11 when he had his amputation surgery (front leg) and he got along perfectly well. I hope that helps you feel better.
Thirdly, in your other post you mentioned money. I’m not sure what your vet quoted you, but I know that amputation can be expensive (though with other people I’ve talked to, I’ve found that there is a huge range) – I paid about $2,200. I still have people bawk at that, but I look at Fang and realize that I just don’t care. What’s money there for, except to spend it on the things you really care about? Maybe other people wouldn’t make that choice, but I sure care a lot more about my Fang than going out to dinner, buying the expensive brands of things at the store, and getting some new clothes for a couple of months. Don’t worry about how other people spend their money – you are your own person, you feel like Salem is part of your family, and that’s your choice. There is nothing wrong with it. I just don’t talk to people about it anymore.
Fourthly, well-meaning family members and friends will try to tell you what they would do with Salem even though Salem is not their cat, they don’t know his situation like you do, and they don’t love him like you do. They are detached from the situation and from that perspective, believe the “easy” route is the best route. My parents, friends, boyfriend, everyone told me it was a bad idea. And you know what? It was the best idea I could have made. Now my family sees Fang and are amazed at how incredibly normal things are for him. My parents told me they were glad they didn’t have to make that decision, because they would have made the wrong one.
Be cautious – you will continue to hear these things from people into the future. People’s natural reaction upon seeing Salem for the first time might be “Awwww poor cat, that’s AWFUL”. But then they’ll see him leap up onto a window sill, or hunt down a bird, and they’ll see that’s not how it is. The point is, don’t think too much of what other people think. This is between you and Salem, and let other people decide what they want to think later. Who cares?
I’m praying for Salem, and sending my best wishes. I’m also hoping that you find some peace of mind and start to feel better, but I know that won’t really happen until Salem comes home, you have the initial shock of seeing him phase, and then things go back to normal. I’m rooting for you, okay?
Oh, I forgot to mention, You had said something about not being sure if Salem actually has cancer. So, when I was making the decision about Fang, I didn’t know if it was cancer either. He just had a big mass growing in his shoulder, it was getting bigger at a very fast rate, and eventually it would have hurt him. We could have gotten a biopsy, and we didn’t. We just amputated the leg. If it was cancer, I didn’t want it to have the time to spread.
And I say we “JUST” amputated the leg, like it was easy, but I also thought “Oh my, what if I am taking off Fang’s leg for NO reason”. I know exactly how you feel. But, look, you’re not taking it off for no reason. From the looks of it, his leg needs to come off – it’s hurting him. So, like for us, it looks like if you really look at your choices, that’s kind of the only one you’ve got. For us, anyway, I decided “why try to save a leg that’s going to cause problems and hurt him when he doesn’t need it?”.
When they checked his leg later (after it was off), we found out that it WASN’T cancer. And do you know what? I was ecstatic. Which is funny because beforehand I was petrified that that’s what would happen. But in the end, we got rid of a leg that would have hurt him, AND we knew he had no cancer in his system that we had to beat. It actually ended up being a very lucky thing.
So, if that’s something your worried about, I am really with you – I know how you feel – but things aren’t always as bad as they seem.
Hi Kendi
Sending pawsitive thoughts for Salem and you today.
I will check for updates during the day.
Give him lots of snuggles and know that you are doing the right thing for him.
Hugs
Linda and Tucker
Ohhh poor Salem! That looks so so painful! We are thinking of you today and sending all our love for a speedy recovery. Keep us posted!
Kendi, I’ve been thinking about you and Salem all day today and hoping that by tonight you will have some positive news. Pleas do keep us posted whenever you hear something.
Kathi